In my work with corporates and in businesses, many men were telling me they were confused with their role at home. They had been taught that their role was to be the provider. Baby Boomers and Gen X, in particular, learnt that lesson well but now they were being told they weren’t fulfilling their roles at home. That they were emotionally and physically absent.
At the same time, many were telling me they were confused with how they were supposed to respond in the workplace with the demands on being “politically correct”. Rightly or wrongly, this confusion was leading to frustration and (in many) cases to anger and worse, to bullying in the workplace and domestic violence. The rate of divorces increased, leaving many children to grow up without a father. And of the 8 people (prior to COVID) who took their own lives each day in Australia, 6 were men. During COVID it was reported that 1 in 10 people in Melbourne lockdowns had contemplated suicide. At the same time cyberbullying escalated.
In my own journey, after my second divorce and while working as a massage therapist with terminally ill patients, where some reversed their conditions, I needed answers. Through a chance meeting with an Aboriginal group, I was invited to learn their culture. What I learnt as I went through my rites of passage and eventual initiation as an Aboriginal Lore man was the power of the campfire: A place where deep meaningful conversation and healing occurred. That and my experience as a profiler lead me to create my #WeTogether initiative and The Campfire Project.
I had realised that groups like #MeToo and #MenToo, although absolutely essential in highlighting the problems and abuse in society, could never be the solution to the problem. It would take us working together, shoulder to shoulder, to build solutions – instead of pointing at each other as the problem.
We needed a safe place where men could work on becoming A man and not trying to be THE man. When men are trying to be THE man, they are in competition and their behaviour ends up being less than desirable. But to be A man meant they wanted to be the best version of themselves, and they would want other men and women who wanted to be A man and A woman as well. THE Man/Woman creates competition, bad behaviour, and isolation, while those striving to be A Man/Woman create communities.
Everyone, all genders, all cultures, all religions are welcome. The only requirement is: be respectful to everyone else and each other. For 3 years we have proven that social media can be used ongoing as a beneficial tool and that the only problem with social media is the people who abuse it.
Alan Stevens is an International Profiling and Communications Specialist, making regular appearances on national TV, radio and in the world’s press, profiling the likes of our leading politicians, TV and sports stars as well as Britain’s Royal family. In this time, he’s been referred to as the leading authority on reading people, globally (The Guardian, UK) and The Mentalist meets Dr Phil (The Herald).
Alan has worked with international clients such as Disney Films and Gillette and high-profile organisations like the Australian Federal Police, helping them understand what makes people tick. Alan works with business owners and executives, helping them to better understand and engage their clients and prospects, enhancing their presentations and negotiation skills in the process. He also helps parents and teachers enhance the ability of their children to reach their full potential while improving the experience of parents, teachers, and students.
Alan is the creator of the #WeTogether initiative and The Campfire Project.
The Heart and Co Founder of The Business of Smiles (a social health initiative reconnecting our communities), Life Coach, Speaker and a Host of The Campfire Project. Known as the guy who always wears a Smile, yet it his ability to navigate life’s tougher situations that makes his smile shine. Leading with his big heart open you will feel his passion for people, opportunities and life when you are involved in his communities.
Socks, yes his socks are what he is all about, bright yellow socks with black polka dots and Smilligan on them…. The black dots represent our dark days, we all have them no one is getting out of that! The yellow is the warmth of the winters sun on your back, that’s our community getting around you on your dark days! Smilligan is our mascot, named after the late Spike Milligan and his poem Smiling is Infectious… I would love you to learn him!
Angela Heise is a leadership coach and emotional and cultural intelligence trainer with over twenty-five years of experience. She is a global nomad who has lived in nine countries, worked in sixteen and travelled in over fifty.
Angela emphasises the importance of including all emotions in life and appreciating ‘negative’ emotions for their positive intent. She teaches people crucial interpersonal skills to help them step beyond those that are passed on from generation to generation and that often create drama and dysfunction. Her goal is to help people create healthy and fulfilling lives – at home and at work.
Angela is the creator of the Emotional Productivity Program and Global Village Skills trainings as well as the thought-stimulating #52needs YouTube conversations.